I need a new phone!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have went through several phones in the last few months. I keep saying everyone has a smart phone but me. I have a stupid phone. I had the perfect phone, I loved my phone. Then my phone had an accident with the water. The next three phones I had, had accidents with the water. The next phone had an accident with the scissors. Some day I will learn to say EXACTLY what I mean. I was wrapping presents and asked my son to bring me the scissors. He comes in the room with the scissors. I tell him to throw them on the table. He does EXACTLY that. The tip hits the camera on the phone and breaks it. I didn't like that phone anyways. Now I have the stupid phone. Every time I send a text message it starts trying to guess what I am spelling. It spells words and I have to go back and erase it. Sometimes the word it guesses makes me laugh. Other times it makes the person receiving the message think I am losing my mind. One day I was meeting a friend. They sent a message saying they were almost there. I wrote back saying I am almost there to. The message they received said I am almost there tomorrow. Another message was about someone being HOT. They received a message about someone being HOTEL. Both of those times it was the last word and my phone changed it right as I hit send. I did not have a chance to change it. The other times when I am in the middle and have time to change it's not so bad. Except when I am standing by myself laughing at the words the phone is choosing. I am almost ready to give in and get a IPHONE.